This pandemic has been hard on everyone. Every household is dealing with this in one way or another. Some families lost loved ones and the goodbyes were via their nurses. Some families are being evicted and lost their jobs with three children in their hands. Some can work from home. Some are risking their lives to take care of the rest of us.
The time at home has been a blessing in disguise for me but now everyday is about survival. Wake up to our morning coffee. Log into our work zones (one minute commute up the stairs). Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Toddler business and laundry in between. The sun rises and sets, with no concept of time in those twelve hours.
I don’t watch a lot of broadcasted television but when I do it’s all about ‘coming together’ or ‘staying in contact while staying apart.’ So how did I come to do less of that? Or rather, why?
The Rush of Switching Routines
The spring was about the transition. There was one Wednesday afternoon (March 11), I left the office to head home and haven’t been back since. At first, it was keeping our essential, medical manufacturing line running as our global suppliers started to shut down, one by one. From 6am-6pm, I sat in front of my laptop, verifying every part and putting out every little spark so it wouldn’t turn into a fire.
My daughter was great then. Being home from daycare, with grandma and grandpa, knowing mommy and daddy were just upstairs, she was occupied and happy. I’d check on her during my water breaks and we started our evening walks and enjoyed the lack of 30 mile commute.
Then the day would repeat. And repeat again, until things smoothed into our new norm.
The Summer Heat
In Phoenix, summer temperatures can reach above 110 as early as May. Not only are you stuck at home all day, only allowed to go on essential errands, it’s now above 100 and not as safe to face the sun.
The days naturally became longer and with our swimming pool in perfect condition, our afternoon walks turned into afternoon swims. And with good timing. My daughter now asks to go to back to school. She asks to have her friends over to swim or play. She kept asking about the mall, library, and the park with my given answer being “when the world opens.”
My work days have a new routine but my daughter wants nothing of it. She’ll rip my headset off, throw my phone or shut my monitor off for attention. I’d plan my meetings around her tantrums or take her for a drive to impose nap time.
Any moment away from work was dedicated to playing and conversing with her. Of course giving the attention a toddler needs, especially during an uncertain time, was another full-time job. We talked. We learned about feelings. We learned about germs. Some ask how I’d hold up a conversation with a 3.5 year old and my answer was to listen and read what she wasn’t saying.
The Realization
On a Friday afternoon, I had to call a work friend about a supplier. As soon as my peer heard my voice, she immediately asked what was wrong. I told her some days were better than others and this ‘quarantine’ had been rough. She asked if I see anyone or talk to anyone and my answer was “I don’t feel like it.”
My peer has known me for almost eight years. Of the 800 people or so at work, I’m known for being one of the expressive ones. For me to say that I didn’t feel like talking, was definitely a red flag.
I even told her about the time I took my father-in-law go his doctor appointment and how I dismissed small talk in the elevator with this older lady. Me? Me dismiss small talk? In that 30 second ride, I would’ve learned what doctor she saw and which soap opera she was heading home to watch. But instead, I kindly nodded my head to her comments.
Subconsciously, the idea of social distancing made me shut everyone out. Do they have Covid? Why aren’t they wearing their mask right? Did I wash my hands enough today?
That phone call woke me up. Since then, I try to connect with people and started taking my daughter to the park. I realized the pandemic isn’t going anywhere and aside from our flu shot, there was no other vaccine on the docket. I had to break out of my shell while keeping as safe as possible. I kept telling myself this was the new norm but this shouldn’t be the new me.
The situation has impacted people on so many different levels. You may be the one to watch the news and be blessed for not being affected. At the same time, there may have been an underlying effect on you, you don’t even realize yet.
Our world is the way it is through the many different cultures that exist. Over 7 billion people reside here. We weren’t made to be secluded to less than 10.
Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, we were born and raised to connect. To collaborate. To laugh in each other’s presence or cry in each other’s shoulders.
Please learn to do that safely, without shutting our lovely world out.
