Alive. Because of her.

There are strong mothers. Then there is my mother. Widowed at 39, she was destined to raise five children on her own, her youngest, me, being only eight. 

Mothers are self-less. They sacrifice their lives for the betterment of their children. How can one human have so much dedication and love, I cannot fathom.

To watch what my mother, Haya, endured over the last 21 years, always makes me wonder if I'll ever be half the woman she is. 

"Have you become CEO of Medtronic yet?" One of her daily questions to me at lunch time.

"No mom, not yet."

"Then when?" 

"Soon," I answer with a smile. 

Her encouragement definitely got me where I am today. 

For this Mother's Day, I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on some of my favorite teachings from my own mom. 

Repetition Counts

Ever since I can remember, my mom would start my mornings with the same words of wisdom. By the time I was 13, I was able to repeat word-for-word, her daily lecture to me. It consisted of messages around education, trust, and chastity. 

Of course as a teenager (and even now in my twenties), the messages were getting quite annoying. However, when challenges occur and I find myself standing in the eye of the hurricane- her words are the only thing that can break my thought to support me on my next move. 

A senior Vice President of Medtronic always said you had to repeat something 37 times for it to stick with people. And with the decades that passed before me, I found that true with my mother's teachings. 

Aged Worthy Advice 

One of my many fears in ever becoming a parent is how to best teach and influence them to take the "right" path. Simon Sinek tells us to start with why. Well, if you've ever been around five year olds and ask them to do something, you get at least five whys before you get the result. 

Reflecting on my leadership career, I wondered how I developed key traits that make me who I am. And it was from the daily lecture my mom gave me. However, what I didn't realize until recently is how even though the message never changed, the words did. 

How can you teach a five year old about trust? I recall my mom telling me that if I ever missed my bus, to not get in the car with anyone, even if they said they knew my parents. It was always an odd statement. Like, if they know you, isn't that enough? But it worked because it helped me over time to develop an understanding of who I would or wouldn't trust. 

Timing For Words

So you can't necessarily tell your eight year old daughter that your father just died. Even if my Mom had, what would that mean? 

"Baba (dad in Arabic) went far away. He went to the sky." I would look up and wonder why he left. And I developed a passion for flying because I always thought I would be that much closer to him. 

With the notion of knowing how to tell people things, it is just as important as when. 

My favorite thing about my mother, is that she never told anyone off. But she never let anything slip by her either, to end on this final lesson. 

If someone tried to argue with her, she stayed calm, being the wiser and stronger person. However, when the timing was right, she would close the loop and normally with the minimal amount of words. 

This is so powerful and definitely memorable. I always wondered how she did it. At first, I thought she was being weak and even thinking to myself "my goodness, she is just going to take that?!" I never realized how she was preparing her response and delivering it when it was appropriate, if she decided they deserved one. 

My mother put her five children before her. Being a single parent, she had to develop a way to raise her children to be leaders with strong morals without pushing them away. 

The timing of her lessons is why it was always easy to make them resonate with me, no matter how repetitive she was. This post can no way be a measure of how much I thank and love her for who she is and thus who I am. It's just a way to jot down some of those lessons. 

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. It worked. 

*Haya in Arabic means living or alive

Circa 1987 

Growing Your Line of Sight

Life is what you make of it. But it is also how you make of it, meaning: perspective. 

How we understand and embrace things is based on our perspective. 

"We’re short so Mountains seem tall. We’re mortal, so Earth seems eternal. Our spacecrafts are slow, so the Universe seems vast." Neil deGrasse Tyson summarizes it well. 

How can we take what we know and expand our lens to start seeing what we don't know? To achieve what we see as merely dreams?

Empathy 

Conflict arises primarily from a lack of understanding- whether it's from roles/responsibilities or knowing that you came from your father's funeral the weekend before. 

It is amazing how sustainable relationships are when you can empathize. In the workplace, it's crucial to show up transparent; being willing to be seen through so you can see through others. 

And everywhere else, it becomes the foundation of strong communication. If I know someone is frustrated, I won't start talking about something crass. 

Humility 

I write about humility a lot and I will continue to write about it. What is most important about humility is being able to accept that you are not all knowing. Fear usually holds us back from being truly humble. 

"I will look weak."

"I'll seem self-conscious." 

"I'll be too passive."  

But humility helps us create an open mind and identify things we could never even conceive before. When that happens, we can excel so rapidly. 

Acceptance 

This is one may be the hardest. When a major life event occurs, we go through many emotions before we can see and accept what's real. 

Take my recent marriage. It's been such an amazing blessing that it doesn't seem real. 

My personality has shifted slightly but only because I am no longer myself but my self with my husband. Decisions are based on the total impact. And the ranking in my values altered to where my career is in the top three but no longer number one.

I take a different approach to problem solving only because I can see through a longer range of time. It is as if I can draw a timeline that hasn't even occurred yet.

Accepting who I have become, has allowed me to strengthen my senses in so many ways. At work, I'm more alert and transparent and have more sensitivity to what others are feeling around me. 

With my new lifestyle at home, humility has been my guardian angel, knowing that I can only grow after each step I (or rather we) take. It is ok to take a deep breath, a step back and respect the other side. 

The new perspective can be scary. But if we had a starship that can travel through our entire solar system in a mere 20 minutes,  how big is our universe really? 

Open your eyes. You might not be as far away from something as you think. 

Photo credit: https://coraskywalker.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/helix-nebulae-in-aquarius-constellation2.jpg

Career Fair Success

The yearly regional Society for Women Engineer’s conference came and went in late February. Upon learning that I was attending the event, our talent acquisition team reached out for Career Fair support. Since I’ve done this in the past and it’s a great way to seek out talent for our own site, I volunteered for a couple of hours. 

As the women engineers were approaching our booth, I could not help but reflect on my days in college. Some of these women were in their freshmen year and asking great questions in year one. I was still grasping the idea of being in the engineering school and trying to stay ahead of my course work back then. Although some of the questions were challenging, some got on my nerves. 

Prior to attending a career fair, create your plan of which companies you want to visit and do a little research. It’s okay to walk up to a booth to ask more about the mission but it doesn’t quite look so good when you walk up and say “what do you guys do?”

Our talent acquisition team is limited, which is why our engineers are volunteering. With 10-20 people walking up per hour, we would rather listen to what you can bring to the table rather you hear our elevator speech. As the two hours passed, I found myself repeating the same key messages that I would like to document here.

Why work here

When researching a company, look up its value or mission. What connection can make you with their mission? In a competitive world, you need to be driven and have a reason to outperform your team members on a day to day basis. If you’re not content with what the company provides to the world or environment, you won’t be very successful in your role.

If you’ve read something online that interested you, it’s okay to follow up with more specifics at a career fair, such as “I read a patient story on a website and wondered how you contributed to that in your daily role.”

What work would you do

Ask “how can I apply my degree to serve your mission” rather than “are there opportunities for Blank Engineers at this company.” I was asked the latter question at least five times during the fair.

In a cross functional world where Systems Engineering is the core of all successful applications, it is critical to have a diverse group of individuals in a room. Granted, we need an electrical engineer to complete an Integrated Circuit design but once it’s manufactured we need a packaging engineer to get it from one facility to another and safely, where the packaging engineer could be an industrial, mechanical, or even civil engineer, by degree.

At the end of the day, it is about the final result and the applications you took to achieve that result. Since I joined the New Product Introduction team, approximately thirty percent of my workload is mechanical engineering (and I'm system/industrial by degree).

As I learned from the Boeing keynote, "the best talent is diverse talent." 

Why hire you

Prepare your elevator speech. With conference attendees ranging from 200-8000 people, you have, on average, three minutes to tell us why we should hire you. As you walk up to the booth, state your name and your current rank/degree in school or your profession. Talk about one or two key accomplishments and why you want to join our company. 

If you can distinguish yourself amongst hundreds or even thousands of people, you have an in with the company. 

Conferences are great for learning, benchmarking and socializing. If you set just one hour aside to plan your time at the conference, you will be successful in walking out with your money's worth. And hey, you may even get a job interview out of it. 

Image: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwi-rtaryITMAhUN7mMKHTmbCF8QjB0IBg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fviterbivoices.usc.edu%2Fnatalie%2Fchicago-exploring-the-city-and-the-swe-national-conference%2F&psig=AFQjCNEmqZQj0qjS0-loki3WknUS5D3xjA&ust=1460394690851850&rct=j

When One Door Closes

Two weeks from tonight, on March 26, 2016, I will be Mrs. Mouslli. Now if you asked me a year ago where I would be in two weeks, I may have answered differently. I would have said packing for another trip to one of our high volume facilities in either Switzerland or Puerto Rico or maybe preparing a leadership retreat in Minneapolis as a newly appointed director. 

Instead, I have bouquets of flowers to finalize, a playlist to run through and remembering to breath over all the things I'm forgetting. And that's okay. 

Earlier today, while cleaning my room and going through my boxes, I stumbled across memories from the last twenty-nine years of my life. I couldn't help but shed a tear or two. There were signed yearbooks from grade school through high school. Ticket stubs to memorable sports event like my first Suns basketball game. Greeting cards for the holiday seasons and many years of my birthdays. But most importantly, pictures. 

I am who I am today because of all the events I encountered with all the people who made me laugh or cry and grow. We each go through a major life event either voluntarily or not. Keep these thoughts in your pocket each time. 

People will remain a part of you. 

I came across photos of my high school friends. Their smiles and notes they left me over the years was a reminder of what true friendship is. Some of these ladies will be flying from the east coast to celebrate my wedding. 

With each life event, we grow a little bit more. It's natural to change and maybe grow apart. But it is important to recognize how you are a collection of the pieces of people made an impact on you over the years. It is important to take the good ones with you and know how to walk away from those who wouldn't carry you when you needed it. 

The next opportunity will be better. 

Positivity drives results. I have to admit, I have been quite chirpy since the day my fiancé told me how he wanted the spend the rest of his life with me. My happiness resonates with those around me. I am more productive at work and have developed stronger communication skills as well.

It is bittersweet to know I'll be getting married. My choices at work will have a different priority system to them and it hit me today that I'll be leaving my mother's house. But by keeping an open mind on what future you will enter, the transition will go smoothly.  

You didn't get to where you are today by stopping at the last life event. 

I think I met my quota with childhood memories for a month or maybe a year. But I'll end with this final note- each of those moments made me into the leader I am today. High school graduation. Student council. Deterministic operations research. California trips. College graduation. Medtronic. Leadership training. Suns games. Car loans. 

If at one of those times, I stopped and said 'it can't get better,' I wouldn't have the next memory. 

Although getting married wasn't in my plan, it's only going to make me a better person. I'm not director yet but now have a right hand man to pull me up to that. I don't have any plans to go to one of the high volume facilities but a couple of other trips are on my radar. 

I had a tear in my eye thinking to myself "where did the time go and where will I be the next time I open this box?" But I smiled to a cliche thought. I closed my bedroom door and placed the boxes in my car. Thirty minutes later, my future husband greeted me and those boxes were placed in my new room. 

And so it is true, when one door closes, another one opens. It is okay to cry but remember to smile for what has to come. 

Second grade class picture. Jaggard Elementary School. Marlton, NJ. 1994-1995. 

Remember Yourself and Why

"We cannot lose our soul in the process," the president of Cardiac Rhythm and Heart Failure division at Medtronic stressed to the Tempe Campus employees last Tuesday. When discussing new trends and the game changing technology on the forefront, he reminded everyone that the patient remains the focal point. 

Reflecting on this notion brought lessons for both inside and outside the workplace. Being in New Product Introduction, the fast pace environment can push you to your limits. But at the end of the day, with the Medtronic Mission in hand, the patient shall never be jeopardized. 

Trying to make it to the Vice President status in my thirties, my driven personality has allowed for pressing decisions outside of work too but I can never lose sight of my values. 

Remember why you're here 

We often ask ourselves what our purpose is. Some may have figured it out and others will die searching. But regardless of whether or not you understand your true purpose in life, there's a reason for being where you are at any given moment. 

Last month, I applied for an Engineering Manager position at our site. I mapped out my vision, the strategies to get there and the low hanging fruit to get the momentum started. All the cards were placed perfectly on the table and I knocked every interview out of the ball park. 

On December 17th, I was told I didn't get it. I received positive feedback from directors, managers and program managers. And no substantial feedback on what I needed to develop. 

I cried for hours. What did the other candidate have more of than me? 

Returning to work after the holidays was difficult, since I had planned to be in a new position. And this past week, I stopped and knew there was some reason for still being in the role I'm in. I own this territory and there's something about that ownership that turned this let down into an opportunity. 

Remember your end state 

It wasn't easy hearing that I didn't get the position. But within minutes of being told that, I asked "what about the program management role that individual is transferring out of?" 

I want to climb the corporate ladder. Lead people around the world in order to help us save and improve the lives of many individuals. Rather than getting negative, I was quickly able to ask about a different path to get to where I'm going. 

Let's say I want to go to San Diego from Phoenix. The common route is the I-10 to the SR 87 to the I-8. But a recent expansion on the freeway has shutdown the 87. Do I go home and say forget about it? 

If I really want to go to San Diego, I can take the I-10 to the I-5. I won't make in the same record time but I'll eventually get there to enjoy some amazing carne asada fries on the beach. 

The point is I want to get to San Diego. By having the goal in mind, it becomes about the goal and not about the path. If I woke up and said I want to take the ten to the eight, I would've been frustrated at the closure and settled for another weekend in Phoenix. 

Remember who you are 

We cannot lose our souls. Unfortunately, it is is quite common to as life events occur, opportunities present themselves or tough decisions need to be made in a matter minutes. 

The most important thing someone can do is to fall back on who they are and who they want to be.

Recently, I went out for coffee with a software engineer. I blocked three hours on my calendar- 30min driving time each way and two hours of socialization. I never met this person and yet the two hours passed remarkably fast. I stood up and thanked him for his company and walked away. 

After successfully getting my number and an another opportunity to spend time with me, it was then I realized "wow- this must be the man I'm going to marry." 

Funny how that works. 

The butterflies floating in my stomach. The four hour phone conversations each night. The hand holding across Tempe Beachpark. The wonders of an early relationship. All great but I didn't lose sight of who I was. 

It was easy for me to explain who I was and who I wanted to be when I grew up. And although my nerves keep racking up as the wedding date approaches, I know he fell in love with me for my values and my ambitions. So even if I wanted to lose sight of them, it would impact his world as much as mine. 

The new year started out with a bang, planning for a wedding and assuming new responsibilities at work. With January coming to an end, I doubted my ability to maintain my personality and core competencies due to these changes. 

But by remembering the purpose of my direction and the person I want to be on the other side, the route doesn't look so bumpy after all. 

Since I can go home every night knowing I saved someone's life, it makes it all the easier to do all it over again the next day. 

Changes will occur on a daily basis but I've worked this hard to get to where I am. It would be a shame to lose it all. 

Don't sell your soul to the forces of nature. Use those forces to push yourself closer to your dream. 

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