Finding the Introvert in Me

For the last couple of years, I was confident that my outgoing personality is what got me where I am today. As much as that may be true, it was brought to my attention this week that it may hinder where I want to be. My extrovert characteristics including being assertive (with respect) has driven results in many pressing situations. However, it takes sustaining self-awareness to truly seek understanding. And thus I've taken a vow to seek out the introvert in me. 

Leadership takes many forms. But ultimately, the strength in a strong leader is when the people are willing to follow. If you don't want to emulate or look up to someone, you might as well kick him or her away from the podium. 

In a world where leaders are getting younger and younger, "mature" leaders are becoming scarce. Fresh out of college, the enthusiasm is good for being hardworking change agents. We're great for working late hours and being upbeat at 8 in the morning after pulling an all-nighter (with the help of a large ice coffee and two extra shots of espresso of course). 

So in order to build my credibility as a true 'mature' leader, there are specific, simple actions I am willing to take. 

Nod and Smile with Silence 

Often times, people can be very rude in the workplace, especially under stress. They blame others for missed deliverables even when there's no major impact. Being passionate about my work, I had a tendency of responding eagerly to anyone who knew how to push my buttons. But the technique that makes me stronger is just listening. I have a great smile so even though I may look crazy smiling during a crisis, it helps in keeping any unnecessary words from coming out of my mouth. This prevents conflict and demonstrates strong communication. 

Keeping it short, like me 

Communication is key; especially as a leader. However, if you're just throwing random words out there, people stop listening. Next time you're standing in front of your team or peers, just say what's important. What message are you trying to say? What key terms will you say to keep them engaged? What questions will you ask to ensure effective communication was met? Time is everything and if you can't keep it brief you might as well not say anything at all. 

Ask: what's the point? 

To sum up it all up, we strive to succeed in our life- inside or outside of work. We do so by building relationships through conversing about key strategies or who's making it to the Rose Bowl. Being an extrovert in nature, I live off the energy of others but I start to ask myself what's the point.

 In the last three years, I went from being a little intern to a technical leader and manufacturing engineer. Almost every senior leader in my organization is watching my every move. And to blow it all away from a measly comment or phrase would be just plain pathetic. My key message is to stop and think before speaking. Is what I'm going to say next even worth my breath? My career?

Most times... It's not. 

Introverts have a way of internalizing their environment mainly by just listening. So why don't you take a stance to find the introvert in you?

Glow Of Humility

Few weeks ago, I was taken aback from comments received by practically everyone in my environment.  At work and at home- No matter how much effort I put forth, I always felt like I was moving two steps back at the end of it. So I walked away, both physically and emotionally, for a few days. 

My head cleared up enough to seek out advice from one of my close mentors. Although I started the conversation asking about him, he immediately felt and knew I called the meeting to seek out advice, since I was struggling.

I spoke for almost two hours about everything that was eating me up inside. Looking back, I probably didn't make much sense. But when it was his turn to speak, I actually heard what he was saying. For months before, he'd given me advice here and there about my personality, my passion, my career, my attitude, and my accomplishments. For months I didn't listen to what he was really saying: until now.

There were three takeaways that I am going to share from our conversation and I honestly believe it's these three things that will change my career some way or another. 

Don't just listen, hear their voice 

When it came to active listening, there are probably thousands of articles that speak to what it truly means to listen. I've read the articles and taken the classes, on top of taking advice from managers and HR reps.  But what was different, was he summarized everything I said with things that I didn't even have to say. What it means to listen is to be empathetic for just a minute. As I learned in the Speed of Trust, your intent is transparent, so it is critical that you put all other thoughts aside and be caring to the individual you're listening to. It'll make a difference just in the sole fact that they will be heard. 

From this learning, I think I experienced empathy. The other day my co-worker and I had to meet to discuss a strategic move in our organization. Immediately I could sense something was wrong. His energy level was low; soft-spoken words slipped from his tongue and he kept looking down at the floor almost for a way out. As much as I wanted to talk strategy, I stopped and gave him all my attention. At first I didn't think I could help him, which became okay. Just listening was actually enough. He was practically begging for help and I presented humility to say I didn't know. But each time he spoke, my stomach twisted, wishing I could help. For the first time in a long time, I felt as if I truly listened to what he was saying- and I'm not talking about the words coming out of his mouth. I heard his frustration. His defeat. His pain and anguish. It was truly a wake-up call for what it means to truly listen. Towards the end of our conversation, I was able to find some small solution that he saw as the world. We were able to close that chapter and move on to discuss what we had planned on. 

Highest Point in your Career is when you're at your Lowest 

Going back to that typical Monday with my mentor, I felt horrible to say the least. And all he could do was smile and say "you're so lucky to be in the position you're in right now." Seriously- if we weren't colleagues at work, I would've slapped him. 

There I was in tears, ready to quit and walk away from it all. I felt deceived, humiliated, lost, beaten.... Need I say more? And he was practically jealous!

The point is when we're at the bottom of the barrel, we have passion that can either hurt us or accelerate us. We can use emotion (as much as I hate it) to move us in the right direction. It took me slowing down and internalizing the emotions before I could make rational decisions about them. But if it weren't for our talk that day, I would've walked away prematurely out of frustration. Sometimes we need to stop and take in the pain we're going through, and understand it’s what we don't know that'll make this moment grand in the end. 

Admitting you're Human 

In previous posts I've mentioned what I would do to be part of the collective Borg entity. One cloudy day in the first week of July, I realized I missed closing two documents out of 15 that I was tracking. I gasped and was so hard on myself for doing so when my

manager chuckled and said "oh my God, you're Human." I nearly cried. 

Reminding me of this day, and to wrap up this post, my mentor closed the loop on our discussion by saying how critical it is to not be perfect. 

It takes a lot of strength to stop and feel- not just the personal emotions that are churning inside but also of those around us. And the more we focus on perfection, we miss the small wins that can take us a long way.

For months leading up to this, day in and day out, my mentor would compliment me on all my strengths and hard work (as I stated above) and I would dismiss each comment he had and beat myself up for something I didn't do. 

("Glow of Humility" taken off of Carefree Highway at Sunset  24-AUG-13)

But what was different that day was the three learning’s above. By truly listening, I am able to better understand and respect the situation. I don't always need to be the one to come up on top but what's important is that no one is left feeling at the bottom (humility). And although we have our ups and downs, we need to take each situation as a lesson. 

We can't grow unless we fall and we won't fall unless we walk. And looking back at the great leaders in the world, it's the challenges they went through that shaped them into who they're remembered as. Final words: be human and listen, to yourself first, and then others.

Decisions

"Every action in life begins with a decision. And unfortunately we don't always make the best ones. "

As leaders, we are constantly called upon to make decisions after decisions. When the manufacturing line stops, and the team is 45mins from making the shipping cutoff, it's up to us leaders to make the "right" call to resume production in the highest Quality manner. 

The hardest part of being a leader doesn't lie within the tactical decisions but rather on the strategic ones. What should the organization look like in 5-10 years? What initiatives need to be plotted on the next agenda platform and executed on? What skills and competencies should the workforce hold in their back pocket? Where do I stand in the middle of it all? 

The last one and maybe even the most important, is rarely pondered upon. 

Last week, I took a four day weekend and was quasi-detached from work. In that time, I was able to reflect not only on my past but future. (Quasi meaning only a few texts to my right hand man at work and a few emails to some counterparts.  

Took the I-17 north out of Phoenix, through a windy curvy mountain trail, I ended up in Jerome, AZ.  The red mountains and smell of fresh pine trees got me thinking. What's my story? Every leader has a story so, what do I want mine to be? 

This isn't the post you're looking for if you need the final answer or the solution to your problems. The message I want to send is how we continue to make decision after decision that lead to actions, sometimes memorable. So, at the end of it all- what will be the story we tell? 

Fortunately, I am at a point in my career where the chapters are currently written with a dry erase marker but it'll soon migrate to permanent. 

The clock is ticking. The fork in the road is approaching. So what decision will I make next? And what will be engraved in stone from it?   

Differentiate? Or conform? Although it may sound simple, one final destination could be miles from the other. 

(Picture taken by "road trip" buddy just 5 miles outside of Jerome.) 

The Voyage Home

"I know you have emotions even though you secretly want to be a Vulcan. ;-) you can't hide... you already let me in once :-D " ~ Sir David Romer

David Romer, 48, lost his battle to cancer on May 17, 2013. He was a trooper these last 8 weeks or so fighting it. And as much of a fighter as he was, he continued to stay strong for me until the very end.

As I only knew David for three years since I started at Medtronic, I got to know him a little bit more this past year. He was my mentor, my shoulder, and my co-worker who kept me grounded when I felt like flying. But he also treated me like the little princess he knew I was-which I didn't fully realize until the end.

I was and still am a new young supervisor with the world ahead of me. And he gave me guiding words to help me be the VP I aim to be.
These are three things I'll always remember:

1) Take care of the team: he loved and respected his team. He was focused on their success and well being before his own. This kept them happy, appreciated and empowered which in turn drove great results to the business.

2) Find your Bright Spot: there's always at least one a day and if you find it, it'll make you a stronger & happier person.

3) Always end on a high note: if you're having a great day working a project that's going successful, don't work on something that's going to bring you down. Save that for the next day. It'll keep you coming back when you can end on the high note.

My bright spot was getting to see his smiley face. I visited him a few times at home these last couple of months and he protected me. He stayed strong and passed down his words of wisdom, to keep me going. That shows his character - especially when he had cancer cells eating him away inside. It's hard to know he's passed but it's a relief to know he's not suffering anymore.

David will truly be missed by many.

In his honor, I will be going to see Star Trek: Into The Darkness at Tempe Marketplace Sunday May 19 at 1:20pm. If you plan on seeing this movie in his honor, please RT or post a comment.

May he now rest peace and "live long and prosper" in his new life.

Being Humble

It's takes a lot to take advice: especially from your direct reports. Ever since I learned of the works of Peter Drucker, I've preached his concept of respecting and developing the knowledge worker. However, it wasn't until this past year that I've really began to understand the concept.

Here are two personal examples of my triumphs from being humble.

Heated Summer

Last year, I began spending extra time coaching one of my top individuals but did more harm than I was expecting. I supported her on a continuous improvement project and supported meaning I did the thinking for her. To my surprise, I blocked her creativity and capability of doing wonders. Thanks to candid discussions with her, we were able to come to an agreement of what our roles are and how we can help each other succeed. And to this day, her empowerment and engagement produces results I couldn't have even fathomed with all the resources in the world. It came down to trust. Trusting her knowledge. Trusting her expertise. And most importantly trusting her that she'll make the right decision.

Happy Fiscal New Year

On Friday I began giving performance appraisals. Honestly one of my favorite times of the year. After closing out the conversation in the system, I turned to my team member asking for one more thing. I started with briefing them on my leadership development initiative this past year and the different types of training I received. I then asked "if you could give me one action to Start doing or Stop doing, what would it be?" Dead silence.

Following the deer in the headlights look, the silence turned into a soft chuckle: "you want me to give you a review?"

Just as managers do they started with all the nice positive comments and then ended with an opportunity for improvement. It was great to hear both. Over the past few months I've deployed surveys on my performance around trust and communication. None of it aligned to what I was being told so to be able to have the conversation was very beneficial.

For all leaders and individual contributors out there, remember to talk to your team. Ask the right questions to actively listen to what they have to say. You'll be surprised I'm sure of all the great ideas they have. You'll be even more surprised, how wrong your perception was all this time.

Be smart by being humble.